All Abortions are Forced Abortions

English: Rep. Albert Wynn (left) joins Gloria ...

English: Rep. Albert Wynn (left) joins Gloria Feldt (right), President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, on the steps of the Supreme Court, to rally in support of the pro-choice movement on the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The pro-choice crowd or as I refer to them the “poor-choice” crowd would like you to believe that a woman goes into an abortion clinic, the same way she goes into a nail salon with a smile on her face and a happy tune in her heart. Not only does she walk in that way, she walks out skipping and singing “Skip to My Lou

However, that is almost never the case. We all know Lorena Bobbitt, men quake in fear at the name. The woman who cut off her man’s penis while he slept. How many know the story behind the story though? According to website Green Left: “For months we have been subjected to nauseating, titillating news coverage of the case. Lorena accused her husband of repeated rape and beatings and forcing her to have an abortion.”

http://www.greenleft.org.au/node/7369. Green Left is definitely  a leftist site hence the name but even from this tidbit we do see that women are forced into abortions. But even if the Lorena Bobbitt of the world do exist and are forced into abortions that surely does not prove my point that all abortions are forced does it. It just means some are.

How can I possibly all abortions are forced abortions. I say it because no woman truly wants to abort her child, she feels forced into the decision. Whether it is due to circumstances, her significant other or already having prior children, there is a driving force behind her that leads her to believe she has no choice but to commit this horrific crime. There are the relatively few monsters out there that have abortions the way they have their teeth cleaned, with no remorse and relative ease. But they are not the majority, they are not even the minority, they are so few in number as to be an anomaly.

People  think forced abortions only happen in places like China but since a child is dying we are not going to concern ourselves whether or not they actually wanted to abort their child. At least not here in America.  So let’s look at a pro-choice site who has an article about this very controversial subject. Publiceye.org whose tagline is Defending Reproductive Justice had this to say:.

In a national study of women, 64% of those who aborted felt pressured to do so by others.1This pressure can become violent.2 65% suffered symptoms of trauma.1 In the year following an abortion, suicide rates are 6-7 times higher.3

Yet they seem to be the only pro-choice site talking about this phenomenon, since talking about it would cut into the abortion industry’s profits. Now you may be saying, 64% is still not all. It is close but there is still a third that obviously didn’t feel forced. Well, sometimes that force comes internally as well.

Reasons women give for having abortions:

  • Forced by mother
  • Father opposed
  • Husband or boyfriend persuaded me
  • No other option was given
  • Would have been kicked out
  • Loss of family’s support
  • Lack of support from society
  • Clinic persuaded me4

In 95% of all cases, the male partner plays a central role in the decision.5 Of men interviewed at abortion clinics 45% man and woman picturerecalled urging abortion, including 37% of married men.6 Many of these men reported being justified in being the primary decision maker in the decision to have the abortion.6

Okay, now we are up to 95% when it comes to who ultimately made the decision, the man and not the woman. Not only were the men the primary decision maker, they felt justified in being so. At this point, five percent is such a small percentage it is pretty easy to say that all abortions are indeed forced abortions.

So what does this tell us? Iit tells us that we have been lied to. Women are not clamoring for abortion. Men are. That the line pro-choice people try to feed us about women wanting abortion is pretty much an outright lie. After all, who are the majority of abortionists? Men. Who gains the most from the woman aborting? Men. Who is making the most money off of abortion? Men. This was never about women and their rights. It has always about the sexual freedom of men. It has always been about the abandonment of women and the children made with them. It was about men in 1973 and it is about men now.

Betty Friedan did not mention abortion in the early version of The Feminine Mystique. It was Lawrence Lader, co-founder of NARAL, who convinced her that all feminist work-based demands depended on a woman’s ability to control her own body and fertility. Both Nathanson and Lader persuaded Friedan (and NOW) that abortion was a civil rights issue.

So if abortion was such a women’s right why didn’t Betty Friedan mention it in her earlier version of the Feminine Mystique, why did it take men to convince her that it was, if it as plain as the nose on your face? Because this was always about the male agenda, not the welfare of women. Just like Lader and Nathanson forced abortion, as a concept, onto Betty and Betty forced it onto the feminist movement. It has been forced onto women ever since. IN 1973, we gave women the finger and told them we could care less about them and their children. It is time we correct that error. It won’t bring the 61 million lives back but it might save 61 million more.

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Why I Left Liberalism

I haven’t always been a die hard conservative. However, I am the kind of person that no matter what I do, I do 100% wholeheartedly. So when I was into liberalism, I was a hardcore liberal.  But as time went on I realized that I could no longer support the liberal agenda and keep my relationship with God or my sanity. It was going to have to be one or the other.  So I decided that God and sanity had to come first. Of course, those are not the only reason I left liberalism behind.

1. I got tired of being a victim.

VictimsLiberalism runs on the ideology that everyone is a victim and I have spent my life fighting for every ounce of dignity. I didn’t want pity or to be thought of as incapable. You didn’t have to like me, but you were going to respect me. I have fought cancer, lived with epilepsy, survived a triple bypass and having my two valves replaced along with getting a pacemaker. The last thing I was, was weak. No matter what life threw my way from rape to institutionalization, I survived it all. Therefore I was  not a victim, I was a victor. When I had that cognitive liberation, I knew I could no longer be a liberal. I could not give in the idea that my skin made me inferior or that my illnesses were a barrier. I was going to beat it all and I was going to show them who I truly was underneath it all.

2. They promoted abortion.

baby killed by abortion

If you can’t look at this and still promote abortion you are a monster!

As an adoptee, this infuriated me more than anything. How dare they say my life wasn’t worth anything because my birth mother didn’t want me. What gave them the right to sit in judgment of my life or anyone’s life and tell them that they weren’t “viable human beings” because “Mommy” had issues with them? Abortion is never a solution to a pregnancy, but adoption is always is. Adoption is not like it was back in 1970 when I was adopted. We now have what is referred to as open adoption. This allows you to see your child and is not a “closed” adoption. You are even allowed to pick the parents of your child. It is so much more available to prospective birth parents than what was available when I was a baby looking to be adopted, yet the pro-choice crowd still only wants to tell you about abortion being the only solution. It is absolutely abhorrent that the death of an unborn child could ever be seen as a viable solution to an unplanned pregnancy.

3. The liberals have disdain for Heavenly Father.

In 2012, the Democratic National Convention decided to remove the mention of God from their platform. However, when those in the Democratic Party wanted to put it back in, there was a vote and there was an outcry when the amendment that would put it back passed, It wasn’t just the mention of God, however, it was recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.  Liberals are historically anti-Semitic. Let’s look at UCLA as an example. Just last year a young woman who was Jewish was being denied an opportunity to sit on the USAC (that is the student government of UCLA) as a judge simply because of her faith.

“Given that you are a Jewish student and very active in the Jewish community,” Fabienne Roth, a member of the Undergraduate Students Association Council, began, looking at Ms. Beyda at the other end of the room, “how do

Rachel Beyda

Rachel Beyda

you see yourself being able to maintain an unbiased view?”

For the next 40 minutes, after Ms. Beyda was dispatched from the room, the council tangled in a debate about whether her faith and affiliation with Jewish organizations, including her sorority and Hillel, a popular student group, meant she would be biased in dealing with sensitive governance questions that come before the board, which is the campus equivalent of the Supreme Court.

If Ms. Beyda had been Black or a lesbian she would not have been questioned about where her loyalties lie. They would have looked at her impressive  resume and overwhelmingly voted her onto the board. Yet her Jewishness was considered a liability. Things like this  made my decision to leave liberalism so much easier.

4. I like money, trans fat and making my own decisions-good or bad.

I don’t hate the rich, In fact, I admire them. I don’t envy them or want everything they have, but I would like to have  my own little nest egg. I don’t think being rich is some awful sin in and of itself. I think I can learn from them. Conversely, I can learn lessons from “the least of my brethren” as well. I see people as people independent of their wealth. I also like Oreo cookies and if you try to ban them again, someone is liable to get hurt. It should be my decision if I eat them or not. I don’t need the food police. Heck, Dr. Shamsa has been trying to get me eat healthier the whole time I have known him to no avail. But milkunlike liberals, he hasn’t resorted to bullying. He doesn’t tell me that my heart is going to explode next week if I don’t. He just keeps encouraging me. Lastly, it is up to us to make our decisions, not the government. Sometimes I make really bonehead decisions, sometimes I make really good ones. Whatever the decision, the consequences are mine to deal with not anyone else. Sure there are some decisions the government has the right and the duty to step in when I make them, things like murder, rape, theft and the like. Those decisions the government has an obligation to stop people from making. However, things such as drinking raw milk or picking the school your child goes to, the government has no right to prevent you from making.

5. Because I loved society more than myself.

With liberalism, everything is about what makes you happy and you concentrate all your efforts on hedonistic pursuits but I care about society and the impact my decisions have on it. I am for traditional marriage not because it will affect my nonexistent marriage but because I think and believe it is the healthiest option for society. I am for incorporating God into the public sphere not because I get some kind of kickback from my church for every pro religious law that gets passed but because I think the more God  is a part of our society the more moral we become as a nation. I am anti-abortion because it is murder and it will have an impact on our society as the loss of 61 million souls are felt. Sure I have my greedy and  selfish moments but I certainly don’t want to live my whole life like that. I want to live it being the best person I can be and I can’t do that being a liberal

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AB 329: Sexualizing California’s Children


Shirley Weber, Author of AB 329

If there is one thing that California lawmakers never tire of it is using our children for their social experimentation. This is only another in their attempts to turn our children into sexual irresponsible adults like them. While they talk about healthy relationships and the like, the truth is you can’t talk about something with any credibility that you have never experienced yourself.

In the Assembly right now is a bill that promotes “comprehensive sex education” and while it would be “mandated” for all 7-12 graders, it would go as far as teaching kindergartners about sex. Since when do 5 year olds need to know about how to protect themselves sexually from other five year olds? If anything, five year old needs to worried about liberals who think pedophilia is a legitimate “orientation.”

AB 329, authored by Assembly member Shirley Weber, would update and strengthen existing law to ensure that students receive sex education that is accurate, comprehensive, medically accurate, age-appropriate and inclusive. [You can bet their idea of “age appropriate”  is not the same as yours.] LGBT students are too often made to feel invisible, or worse, stigmatized in health classes. LGBT-inclusive education has been shown to have a positive effect on school climate overall and make LGBT youth feel safer in school. [While I am all for making everyone feel safer in school, this is not the way to do it. It is nothing more than the Gay Elite trying recruit children into a lifestyle that is potentially life threatening.] AB 329 will thus lead to greater understanding and acceptance of Gay married couple enjoying wedding receptionLGBT youth and families. [Basically, this is a way to shut down any opposition to gay marriage, wrapped in “education.” it is dishonest.] Additionally, the bill will update curriculum on prevention of sexually transmitted infections, HIV, and pregnancy. EQCA is co-sponsoring AB 329 with American Civil Liberties Union of California, California Latinas for Reproductive Justice, Forward Together, and Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California. 

Basically that last line tells you everything that you need to know when the ACLU and Planned Parenthood are promoting a sex ed bill, you know it is going to benefit their bottom line, not your children. According to Planned Parenthood’s own annual report they did  327,653 abortions during 2013-2014.  The last year they have numbers for. They did only 1,880 adoption referrals to outside agencies. So you know this “comprehensive sex ed” is going to not only promote homosexuality but abortion as well. Planned Parenthood would not be behind this bill if it didn’t.  The real goal of this bill is not to educate anyone, especially our young children on the hazards of engaging in sex before they are ready, mainly waiting until they are married, but to teach them that sex is no more special than urinating or defecating, that is merely just another bodily function to be acted upon whenever the need should arise.

The above video shows you exactly what type of sex education our children will be getting. We cannot afford to be nice anymore, we cannot be afraid to offend, our children’s lives are on the line and it is time we take these sick people down and tell them we will not allow them to infect our children.

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I GET Disrespected

Let me start this article by saying, I love UCLA, I really do. I think it is definitely hands down the best university out there. Heck, we even beat out Yale in terms of Dream Schools.The True Bruin Statement says the following: As a Bruin, I Commit Myself to the Highest Ethical Standards

Integrity: I will conduct myself with integrity in my dealings with & on behalf of the University.

Excellence: I will conscientiously strive for excellence in my work.

Accountability: I will be accountable as an individual & member of this community for my ethical conduct.

Respect: I will respect the rights & dignity of others.

Service: I will make an impact in our global community through public service.

I take that code seriously and every day I try to uphold those standards laid out in the True Bruin Statement. That being said, it doesn’t mean you get to disrespect me when I come to you seeking your assistance. This wasn’t some cashier who might be stressed out over finals having a bad day, this is correspondence sent on the university’s behalf done in such a childish and rude manner that I couldn’t believe it. It was so bad that even my 11 year old son was appalled by the letter. I petitioned to see if I could get my IGETC certified and I gave them a list of reasons why it should be, this is what I got back from the university:

You cannot have it both ways. You either have full/partial IGETC certification from your community college -or- you are held to all of UCLA’s GE requirements. Your DARS indicates a UCLA-based GE science lab transfer credit but your community college evaluated the two science courses that you took as *non-lab.* The committee understands your circumstances but cannot make an exception. If taking a fifth class in S15 is nota an option, you are advised to find a transferable GE-science with lab credit from a community college or other transfer school. As such, please make plans (financial, logistical, family, degree term) accordingly. You are on an IGETC-1 contract: (1) Complete one applicable GE-science lab (from the UCLA GE list or a transfer school). (2) Earn a letter grade only of minimum “C.” After satisfying the conditions, please return to Window 2, A316 Murphy (M-F 8:30am-4:30pm) so we can update your record.

This is the actual transcript. There was no addressing me by name (and yes, I understand it would be under my record so it is not like anyone else would read it, however if you are professional you still start all correspondence with someone’s name out of courtesy and respect.)  The tone was arrogant and flippant-you can’t have it both ways. Really? Why not tell me to go jump off a bridge?  A more professional person would said “We regret to inform you after much consideration and deliberation that we are unable to grant your petition for fulfilling your IGETC.”

I don’t know who wrote this but it shows a lack of character and professionalism. I am 45 I don’t need nor want to be coddled, I just don’t want to be treated like I am something from the bottom of someone’s shoe either. It wasn’t about the denial, I could deal with that. What I wonder about is, is this unprofessionalism a symptom of larger problem at UCLA? If you can’t write a simple denial letter without being rude and condescending, how is UCLA being represented in the academic arena when these same people have to interact with the public? There is already enough public relations problems at UCLA.  About a month ago, the USAC didn’t want to appoint a Jewish student to the judiciary because SHE WAS JEWISH and they felt she would be biased. This is the same USAC that wanted to divest from Israel and has continually shown anti-Israel/Jewish bias.

Obviously, whoever wrote this thinks it is acceptable to be uncivil and discourteous to students, just as USAC thought they were in their rightst to be discriminatory towards a well qualified Jewish student. UCLA really needs to tighten up their public relations image and instead of trying to teach the students about diversity, maybe hold a few courses on basic respect for both students and administrators. At the very least teach them about the True Bruin Statement because obviously they do not know what it is and  they are failing quite miserably at upholding it.


UCLA’s Hidden Population-Student Parents

This  past weekend I attended the Parents Weekend at UCLA but I had to do so under the stealth of night because truthfully I was not even supposed to be attending. You see as a student parent, Parents Weekend is not for me. It is for the real parents of UCLA, not student parents. In fact, if you look at UCLA student parents are treated no more than your average club, not a real population.  Now if I was gay and attending UCLA, I would have at least 20 different organizations to join that promote my choice in being gay. From BlacQue to TransUP and Queer Alliance, I would have a real voice in how things are done at UCLA.

For instance, even though 15,849 women attend UCLA and make up 55.3 percent of the campus, [http://www.aim.ucla.edu] it is important to have transgender bathrooms because we can’t have a small fraction of people using the facilities that correlate with their biological sex, that is just not fair to the 0.5 of the population who feel like they are “women.” After all, it is not like sexual assault exists at UCLA and it is not like some sexual predator will use such a ruse to sexually assault women. Granted a sexual predator doesn’t need an excuse to victimize women but let’s  make it easier all the same. So why do transgenders have such a more powerful voice than the untitledwomen? It is because they have aligned themselves with the burgeoning gay community on campus and therefore have more of a say.

Now try to find 2o student parent organizations, it is not happening. There is just one-Students with Dependents. Before the weekend I asked for the demographics for the student parent population. They had none. About 300 students are a part of the program. There are 166 members of their Facebook page. Beyond that there was not much they could tell me. There are 3.8% or roughly 1100 Black students at UCLA. The average age is 21 at UCLA and 6% is over 25 at UCLA.  Given that I am  a Black 44 year old woman, I am used to being the minority. However, to have absolutely no statistics on the student parent population is downright disgraceful especially for a school that prides themselves on being “diverse.”


Dr. Kamran Shamsa and me.

Let me  preface all this by saying no one loves UCLA more than I do. Let me give you my back story. I arrived on the UCLA campus during the Fall of 2012. I was a transfer from LACC (By the way the transfers are 29 percent of the population and now have a new representative on ASUCLA) but as the quarter progressed, I began to get sicker and sicker. So I went to the Ashe Center to see what is wrong. If you take nothing else from this remember this: ALWAYS opt in for USHIP, ALWAYS!!! At the Ashe Center I met my guardian angel, Fara Anzures. After examining me she saw I was seriously ill and sent me to 100 Medical Plaza across the street for further tests. There I met Dr. Kamran Shamsa, the world’s greatest cardiologist if ever there was one. He became my advocate and fought for me to get surgery on my heart. I would require a triple bypass and have my aortic and mitral valves replaced. The surgeon who performed the surgery was none other than Richard Shemin, the best in the country when it came to this kind of complicated heart surgery. So I owe my life to these three angels. It is therefore with a heavy heart that this episode of feeling rejected by the same people who saved me-UCLA-leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

So now back to the Parents Weekend. When I filled out the  form for Parents Weekend I had to lie and state that my 11 year old son was my guardian. Now remember when you apply to UCLA you give them information about your parents. I told them that my parents were deceased, yet I still receive letters that read to the parents of Dena Leichnitz. Why do you even ask the question, if you are not going to utilize the information? In any case, my son was my surrogate “father.” I paid the money and then on Friday I went to the dinner. Being that I was a parent, I had to pick up my son from school before I could attend. So that meant missing out on all the activities that take place on Friday, which is basically everything. Nothing really happens on Saturday.

The day I picked up my badge and other parent weekend necessities, I went through everything and put on my badge. Initially, I wore it with a certain amount of pride until I realized everyone who was a student had a badge that read their name and was followed by UCLA College, Los Angeles. Mine said Dena Leichnitz, Los Angeles, California. The parents badge had written their name UCLA Parent, I had nothing. Not UCLA College, not UCLA Parent, nothing, I might as well been a party crasher and considering that is how I felt, it cut deep. It sounds silly but I wanted to cry. I wasn’t even being credited as being part of the school. So I wrote in big letters STUDENT AND PARENT. It was my outward sign of defiance.

My 11  year old son/father

My 11 year old son/father

On Saturday I attended one event. My son during this whole time was on the computers in Powell Library. After all, this wasn’t his idea no need to make him sit through a history class on a Saturday. On Sunday, he did sit through the Parent’s Council and once again I was told the higher ups would do what they could to have student parents on the Parents Council. I signed up my name as being interested in that was that. Even when I talked to Chancellor Gene Block, who was cordial overall, when I brought up how wrong it was not have student parents be a part of this thing I was blown off. “Well this is more for parents who are visiting out of town, we have other things for our diverse population.” And if that is not a verbatim quote, it is close enough.

 As a right wing zealot I should be the last one giving people a lesson in “diversity.” After all, no one is more for tradition, no more for mothers being called mothers and fathers being called fathers. No one is more for protecting the traditional family and marriage than I am. So then how did I become the one who has to be the one to tell the university that it is not okay to discriminate against a whole group of parents just because they do not happen to be a parent of UCLA student but ARE the UCLA student. How then am I then the one saying, your idea of parent needs to change? The whole thing seems surreal. I guess the lesson for UCLA is twofold, start paying attention to your student parent population, we are here and we matter and two next time you give someone a new heart be sure you don’t inflame a new passion.








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Why I Am Still “Anti-Gay.”

A few years ago, I  wrote a piece on here that until this very day continues to get a lot of responses. So I decided that I would write another piece on it and give the haters something to froth over. So here it is.

Doctor picture1.  Homosexuality is a dangerous lifestyle.

Okay, I am about to admit something only very few people know but it might help in understanding why I feel so strongly about this. I am a recovering sex addict. As such I know all about sex done wrong and I know all about the damage it can do to one’s life. If anyone understands about not feeling “normal” when it comes sex it is me. So please don’t sit there and sing me your sad song, I have my own.  At three I discovered the big M (if you don’t know what that is, think about it) and by six I was initiating sexual encounters with the neighbor boy as we tried to figured where his part fit in mine.  At 14,  I was no longer a virgin and my father died a week later (so sex and death got mixed up together. After all, I had sex on Father’s Day and my father  died a week later, that must’ve been my punishment right?)  As a sex addict I put myself in very many precarious situations. Truthfully, I should be dead from AIDS or from inviting strange men into my home and having one of them kill me. It is amazing that I am still here to write this. I see homosexuality as an extension of sex addiction, especially in men. All my life, I have had more in common with gay men than I have with women. Ann Coulter once wrote that the women in the show “Sex in the City” don’t live their lives as women or even straight men but as gay men. As I read those words she penned, it hit me, “That’s me! I have lived my life as a gay man! That is why I was always so comfortable around them! That is why I always felt a connection to them I could never explain!” We were kindred spirits.  That is before God stepped in and saved me. Had he not, who knows where I would have ended up. I was already to the point where a body was a body was a body, it didn’t matter much to me anymore. The deeper I got into my addiction, the more risks I was willing to take and the more I was willing to sabotage my life and those lives of the people I was with. I am telling you all this because people think sexuality is some benign choice, like choosing Jordache over Vanderbilt jeans. Homosexuality is not a normal way to engage in sexual relations, just like my sexual addiction was also abnormal.  You will inevitably incur disease and death. This is from the CDC:

Trend data released today in CDC’s 2011 STD Surveillance Report show that primary and secondary syphilis rates are increasing among gay and bisexual men, who now account for more than 70% of all infections. During the 1990s, syphilis primarily occurred among heterosexual men and women of racial and ethnic minority groups. However, the tide shifted and cases began to increase among gay and bisexual men, referred to as men who have sex with men (MSM) in CDC data systems. A growing number of these cases have been reported among young MSM, with the highest rates being found in men 20-29 years old. What is causing this shift? And what should we be doing differently?   http://blog.aids.gov/2012/12/syphilis-and-hiv-a-dangerous-duo-affecting-gay-and-bisexual-men.html#sthash.ZSsGcRjh.dpuf

And remember even though the mafia couldn’t kill Al Capone, syphilis did! Syphilis can cause blindness, mental disorders and death in its later stages.  Because we have antibiotics we think it is no big deal but syphilis can also mimic other diseases and with its close association with HIV gay men, it becomes even more serious.  This is what the rest of the article had to say about men with HIV who also contract syphilis.

While the health problems caused by syphilis in adults are serious in their own right, it has been shown that the genital sores caused by syphilis make it easier to transmit and acquire HIV infection sexually. There is an estimated 2- to 5-fold increased risk of acquiring HIV if exposed to that infection when syphilis is present, and studies have also shown that syphilis will increase the viral load of someone who is already HIV infected.

Remember this report was posted December 2012 so we are not talking ancient history here. We are speaking what is happening in the community TODAY!!!

2.  Marriage is about the continuation of the natural family, not about “love.”

weddings1If marriage was exclusively about love then why do the the longest marriages tend to be arranged marriages? Also according to an article in the Chicago Tribune,  “Psychology professor Pamela Regan and her co-authors looked at the marriages of 58 Indian-Americans living in the U.S. About half the participants (28) said their marriages had been arranged, either by relatives or professional matchmakers. The remaining 30 described their marriages as love-based. When researchers had the participants complete questionnaires on love, relationship satisfaction and commitment, they found something rather remarkable. “We found absolutely no differences whatsoever, and we’re not really sure why,” says Regan, whose results were published in Psychological Reports.” Therefore that ever so mystical “love” component has relatively little to do with marriage and whether or not they are happy. So if marriage is not about “love” then what is it about? It is about creating a family, which is something that cannot be obtained through homosexual unions. Whether or not we like it, children need a mother and father. As a single mother nothing  pains me more than admitting that fact. My son is constantly talking about his father and being  that he was one of those “a body is a body is a body” people I told you about there is really little I can tell my son about his father which is truly sad. Especially since at this point in his life, he is ten he seems to need him so much. The questions are becoming more and more frequent and my answers are getting fewer and fewer. The truth is we cannot tailor marriage to fit us, it is not what we want it or think it should be. Marriage is an institution that cannot be undermined without incurring some real and detrimental consequences. You only have to look into the Black community to see what the lack of marriage does to the family and children. Women and  children left on their own to fend for themselves. Marriage is the best way of ensuring future success for children. It is not about social engineering or making a small segment of society feel better about themselves. It is about what is best for everyone involved, men, women and children. What is best, what has always been best is marriage.  To try to tear down the cornerstone of civilization because it does not conform to our modern views is completely and utterly insane. And though Dolores Umbridge (for all you Harry Potter fans out there) may have been painted as the villain in J.K Rowling’s world, she made a good point when she stated “Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.”  There has to be thought, reason and logic behind why we are changing something and there is only emotion, hyperbole and threats of discrimination without any real facts to back up the proponents of gay marriage while social science continues to bare out the  truth, children do better in married households.

gay-protestTo sit there and make marriage about “benefits” is absolutely disgraceful. While “love” may not be the only component in marriage, to make it no better than any other business transaction is insulting. While feminists have long maintained that all marriages were nothing more than prostitution or slavery and that sex with men is nothing more than rape, to make the “benefits” argument is no better than their fanatical rantings. I was “married” for four years and my ex-husband did not get down on one knee   and say “Dena, marry me so I can declare you on my tax return.” In fact,  we were going to “lose our benefits” by marrying.  We were both on SSI and we would have lost half our check should we have legally tied the knot. So we had a ceremony, but no legal license. If anyone needs to be fighting for their so called right to marry (which does not exist by the way.  A right is a claim against a person or property of another that is enforceable in a court of law. Therefore since no one has a claim against another person and can force a court to make that person marry them then marriage is not a right!) it is those who are on welfare. As I stated before, when women and men can marry each other who receive government assistance then I will start worrying about the gay population. After all, if any group can benefit from marriage it is those on welfare who because of the rules are not allowed to have the father live in their home and thereby have the children suffer.

3.  Being gay is a choice.

I know I am about to hear all kinds of hateful vitriol about this! Being gay is not a choice! Who would choose to be gay!? Sexuality is a choice. In fact, sexuality is one of the few things we have total control over. It is when Got freedomwe give our control to sexuality that we become enslaved to it and  that it will take over your life. Remember that whole a body is a body is a body thing I told  you about in number 1? Well at one point in time, I started to think being with a woman might be very interesting and I started to seek out opportunities. However, I was pulled back from the brink from God because  he knew if I went down that road, I might not get out alive getting how dangerous I was becoming with my sexual behavior. So I never was with  a woman. However, I was making a conscious choice to go down that road. No different than if I was choosing between Chinese and Italian for dinner. There is also a website called  http://www.queerbychoice.com that deals with this very issue. For a lot of people being gay is a conscious choice.  Even if it wasn’t a conscious choice for you, like it was for these others, doesn’t mean you have acquiesced your power to make sexual decisions. Sexuality is very fluid and you can be straight when you are young and a lesbian when you are older (as my mother was) or you can go back and forth throughout  your life or you can be completely asexual. Whatever your sexuality is, it is totally in your hands and to say otherwise makes you no better than a dog. Even if you don’t want to see yourself as a higher creature, I do and I am not going to change  my opinion because the Gay Elite wants everyone to live their lives according to their sexual urges and who they do and nothing more. That is a sad and repulsive way to live one’s life. There is so much that makes me who I am. I am first and  foremost a daughter of God,  a  mother, a UCLA student, Black, female, a writer, a sister, and a myriad of other things.  But to define myself by my sexual proclivities is as crazy as identifying myself by the fact that I urinate or by my monthly “visitor.” That is a part of me too but it is inconsequential. Or to define myself by my emotions. Emotions are fleeting, I am happy, depressed and angry all in the same day. What ticks me off one day will merely irritate me the next, to base my existence on “feelings” is actually immature and shows lack of reasoning.

However, and  this is where it gets sticky for the gay community, you are your choices. So you have to choose to be gay in order to define yourself in that fashion. I have to choose to go to UCLA in order to be a UCLA student. I have to choose to be a Mormon, in order to define myself as a Mormon. While some things you have no choice in like being a woman or your ethnic background, sexuality is once again something  you have to choose, otherwise it is rape. Therefore, if you are  choosing to engage in homosexual behavior, you are making a choice. If you are choosing to be with this man rather than this other one, you are making a choice. You may not have chosen to have the feelings but you choose to act on them.  As a straight woman I still have feelings for men, but I choose not to act on them. I don’t always like the fact that I find myself continually attracted to the wrong type of man but I still choose not to act on those feelings.  Once I got myself into recovery two things went away 1) my penchant for self-destruction and 2) my desire to be with women. Therefore sexuality is malleable. I have been celibate for seven  years. That is a choice. I have chosen not to further engage in sex until I am married. If I can change my sexuality, then I know it can be done for others and to sit there and say gays have no choice in the matter is to dehumanize them. I refuse to do that.

The real reason the Gay Elite does not like the idea of queer by choice is because it gives people freedom. Freedom to choose to be straight or gay. Freedom to choice how they will conduct their behavior and their lives and the Gay Elite needs to have control over those things. Oh sure they want some freedom but freedom with any of the consequences. They want rights but without any of the responsibilities. They berate people like Michael Glatze who was a former gay activist who recently married a woman. By and large, my intolerance is not for the average gay or lesbian in my life or who I meet on day to day basis, it is with the overall Gay Elite,  organizations like GLSEN, Human Rights Campaign and others who use their power and resources to foist their agenda onto everyone and bully those who do not comply. GLSEN who attempted to get five years old children to sign  a card that they would stand up to people who bullied gays! (THEY’RE FIVE!!!! REALLY????)  I get angry at how the Gay Elite wants to take away everyone’s freedom of choice. So I will continue to battle them. Because I think everyone should be free to make the choice for the lives but should have truth and accurate information regarding that choice. Sexuality is the  most private and cherished thing we can give to another, so why do so in such a secretive, vulgar fashion by allowing unfettered access to all who want it instead of sharing it with one person who will treasure it?

Lastly I am anti-gay because it takes away the brightest and best among us and delves them into a counterfeit life and I think  they are worth more than that.

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In a Court of Law

Royce Hall, main building of University of Cal...

Royce Hall, main building of University of California, Los Angeles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


September has been an a month full of laws for me. Whether it is appearing in Man’s court on the ongoing battle to keep my son or learning about God’s law as Judaism will once again be at the forefront of my education at UCLA, I have been steeped in the study and practice of law.


Today I am in a court of law to make a dream of mine come true. My sister has had co guardianship pretty much since he was three. Today we are here to terminate it. I keep looking down the hall for my sister. My case is at 10:30, it is 10:09. Time is passing slowly. Is she in the right department? It is in Department 5 which happens to be on the second floor, room 236. I guess putting it on the fifth floor would make too much sense. It is 10:13, she is still not here. There are five cases before ours.


My heart is beating fast,which for a normal person is bad enough. However, when you add mechanical heart valves to the mix, it becomes more frightening, more nerve- wracking. I do not know why I am nervous. Maybe it is the intended thought of doing this alone.


It is ten thirty, we are inside the court, she has arrived and we are sixth in line. I have signed the paper work. Now I wait for what I have been waiting for forever, for my son to be mine.



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