A few years ago, I wrote a piece on here that until this very day continues to get a lot of responses. So I decided that I would write another piece on it and give the haters something to froth over. So here it is.
Okay, I am about to admit something only very few people know but it might help in understanding why I feel so strongly about this. I am a recovering sex addict. As such I know all about sex done wrong and I know all about the damage it can do to one’s life. If anyone understands about not feeling “normal” when it comes sex it is me. So please don’t sit there and sing me your sad song, I have my own. At three I discovered the big M (if you don’t know what that is, think about it) and by six I was initiating sexual encounters with the neighbor boy as we tried to figured where his part fit in mine. At 14, I was no longer a virgin and my father died a week later (so sex and death got mixed up together. After all, I had sex on Father’s Day and my father died a week later, that must’ve been my punishment right?) As a sex addict I put myself in very many precarious situations. Truthfully, I should be dead from AIDS or from inviting strange men into my home and having one of them kill me. It is amazing that I am still here to write this. I see homosexuality as an extension of sex addiction, especially in men. All my life, I have had more in common with gay men than I have with women. Ann Coulter once wrote that the women in the show “Sex in the City” don’t live their lives as women or even straight men but as gay men. As I read those words she penned, it hit me, “That’s me! I have lived my life as a gay man! That is why I was always so comfortable around them! That is why I always felt a connection to them I could never explain!” We were kindred spirits. That is before God stepped in and saved me. Had he not, who knows where I would have ended up. I was already to the point where a body was a body was a body, it didn’t matter much to me anymore. The deeper I got into my addiction, the more risks I was willing to take and the more I was willing to sabotage my life and those lives of the people I was with. I am telling you all this because people think sexuality is some benign choice, like choosing Jordache over Vanderbilt jeans. Homosexuality is not a normal way to engage in sexual relations, just like my sexual addiction was also abnormal. You will inevitably incur disease and death. This is from the CDC:
Trend data released today in CDC’s 2011 STD Surveillance Report show that primary and secondary syphilis rates are increasing among gay and bisexual men, who now account for more than 70% of all infections. During the 1990s, syphilis primarily occurred among heterosexual men and women of racial and ethnic minority groups. However, the tide shifted and cases began to increase among gay and bisexual men, referred to as men who have sex with men (MSM) in CDC data systems. A growing number of these cases have been reported among young MSM, with the highest rates being found in men 20-29 years old. What is causing this shift? And what should we be doing differently? http://blog.aids.gov/2012/12/syphilis-and-hiv-a-dangerous-duo-affecting-gay-and-bisexual-men.html#sthash.ZSsGcRjh.dpuf
And remember even though the mafia couldn’t kill Al Capone, syphilis did! Syphilis can cause blindness, mental disorders and death in its later stages. Because we have antibiotics we think it is no big deal but syphilis can also mimic other diseases and with its close association with HIV gay men, it becomes even more serious. This is what the rest of the article had to say about men with HIV who also contract syphilis.
While the health problems caused by syphilis in adults are serious in their own right, it has been shown that the genital sores caused by syphilis make it easier to transmit and acquire HIV infection sexually. There is an estimated 2- to 5-fold increased risk of acquiring HIV if exposed to that infection when syphilis is present, and studies have also shown that syphilis will increase the viral load of someone who is already HIV infected.
Remember this report was posted December 2012 so we are not talking ancient history here. We are speaking what is happening in the community TODAY!!!
2. Marriage is about the continuation of the natural family, not about “love.”
If marriage was exclusively about love then why do the the longest marriages tend to be arranged marriages? Also according to an article in the Chicago Tribune, “Psychology professor Pamela Regan and her co-authors looked at the marriages of 58 Indian-Americans living in the U.S. About half the participants (28) said their marriages had been arranged, either by relatives or professional matchmakers. The remaining 30 described their marriages as love-based. When researchers had the participants complete questionnaires on love, relationship satisfaction and commitment, they found something rather remarkable. “We found absolutely no differences whatsoever, and we’re not really sure why,” says Regan, whose results were published in Psychological Reports.” Therefore that ever so mystical “love” component has relatively little to do with marriage and whether or not they are happy. So if marriage is not about “love” then what is it about? It is about creating a family, which is something that cannot be obtained through homosexual unions. Whether or not we like it, children need a mother and father. As a single mother nothing pains me more than admitting that fact. My son is constantly talking about his father and being that he was one of those “a body is a body is a body” people I told you about there is really little I can tell my son about his father which is truly sad. Especially since at this point in his life, he is ten he seems to need him so much. The questions are becoming more and more frequent and my answers are getting fewer and fewer. The truth is we cannot tailor marriage to fit us, it is not what we want it or think it should be. Marriage is an institution that cannot be undermined without incurring some real and detrimental consequences. You only have to look into the Black community to see what the lack of marriage does to the family and children. Women and children left on their own to fend for themselves. Marriage is the best way of ensuring future success for children. It is not about social engineering or making a small segment of society feel better about themselves. It is about what is best for everyone involved, men, women and children. What is best, what has always been best is marriage. To try to tear down the cornerstone of civilization because it does not conform to our modern views is completely and utterly insane. And though Dolores Umbridge (for all you Harry Potter fans out there) may have been painted as the villain in J.K Rowling’s world, she made a good point when she stated “Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.” There has to be thought, reason and logic behind why we are changing something and there is only emotion, hyperbole and threats of discrimination without any real facts to back up the proponents of gay marriage while social science continues to bare out the truth, children do better in married households.
To sit there and make marriage about “benefits” is absolutely disgraceful. While “love” may not be the only component in marriage, to make it no better than any other business transaction is insulting. While feminists have long maintained that all marriages were nothing more than prostitution or slavery and that sex with men is nothing more than rape, to make the “benefits” argument is no better than their fanatical rantings. I was “married” for four years and my ex-husband did not get down on one knee and say “Dena, marry me so I can declare you on my tax return.” In fact, we were going to “lose our benefits” by marrying. We were both on SSI and we would have lost half our check should we have legally tied the knot. So we had a ceremony, but no legal license. If anyone needs to be fighting for their so called right to marry (which does not exist by the way. A right is a claim against a person or property of another that is enforceable in a court of law. Therefore since no one has a claim against another person and can force a court to make that person marry them then marriage is not a right!) it is those who are on welfare. As I stated before, when women and men can marry each other who receive government assistance then I will start worrying about the gay population. After all, if any group can benefit from marriage it is those on welfare who because of the rules are not allowed to have the father live in their home and thereby have the children suffer.
3. Being gay is a choice.
I know I am about to hear all kinds of hateful vitriol about this! Being gay is not a choice! Who would choose to be gay!? Sexuality is a choice. In fact, sexuality is one of the few things we have total control over. It is when we give our control to sexuality that we become enslaved to it and that it will take over your life. Remember that whole a body is a body is a body thing I told you about in number 1? Well at one point in time, I started to think being with a woman might be very interesting and I started to seek out opportunities. However, I was pulled back from the brink from God because he knew if I went down that road, I might not get out alive getting how dangerous I was becoming with my sexual behavior. So I never was with a woman. However, I was making a conscious choice to go down that road. No different than if I was choosing between Chinese and Italian for dinner. There is also a website called http://www.queerbychoice.com that deals with this very issue. For a lot of people being gay is a conscious choice. Even if it wasn’t a conscious choice for you, like it was for these others, doesn’t mean you have acquiesced your power to make sexual decisions. Sexuality is very fluid and you can be straight when you are young and a lesbian when you are older (as my mother was) or you can go back and forth throughout your life or you can be completely asexual. Whatever your sexuality is, it is totally in your hands and to say otherwise makes you no better than a dog. Even if you don’t want to see yourself as a higher creature, I do and I am not going to change my opinion because the Gay Elite wants everyone to live their lives according to their sexual urges and who they do and nothing more. That is a sad and repulsive way to live one’s life. There is so much that makes me who I am. I am first and foremost a daughter of God, a mother, a UCLA student, Black, female, a writer, a sister, and a myriad of other things. But to define myself by my sexual proclivities is as crazy as identifying myself by the fact that I urinate or by my monthly “visitor.” That is a part of me too but it is inconsequential. Or to define myself by my emotions. Emotions are fleeting, I am happy, depressed and angry all in the same day. What ticks me off one day will merely irritate me the next, to base my existence on “feelings” is actually immature and shows lack of reasoning.
However, and this is where it gets sticky for the gay community, you are your choices. So you have to choose to be gay in order to define yourself in that fashion. I have to choose to go to UCLA in order to be a UCLA student. I have to choose to be a Mormon, in order to define myself as a Mormon. While some things you have no choice in like being a woman or your ethnic background, sexuality is once again something you have to choose, otherwise it is rape. Therefore, if you are choosing to engage in homosexual behavior, you are making a choice. If you are choosing to be with this man rather than this other one, you are making a choice. You may not have chosen to have the feelings but you choose to act on them. As a straight woman I still have feelings for men, but I choose not to act on them. I don’t always like the fact that I find myself continually attracted to the wrong type of man but I still choose not to act on those feelings. Once I got myself into recovery two things went away 1) my penchant for self-destruction and 2) my desire to be with women. Therefore sexuality is malleable. I have been celibate for seven years. That is a choice. I have chosen not to further engage in sex until I am married. If I can change my sexuality, then I know it can be done for others and to sit there and say gays have no choice in the matter is to dehumanize them. I refuse to do that.
The real reason the Gay Elite does not like the idea of queer by choice is because it gives people freedom. Freedom to choose to be straight or gay. Freedom to choice how they will conduct their behavior and their lives and the Gay Elite needs to have control over those things. Oh sure they want some freedom but freedom with any of the consequences. They want rights but without any of the responsibilities. They berate people like Michael Glatze who was a former gay activist who recently married a woman. By and large, my intolerance is not for the average gay or lesbian in my life or who I meet on day to day basis, it is with the overall Gay Elite, organizations like GLSEN, Human Rights Campaign and others who use their power and resources to foist their agenda onto everyone and bully those who do not comply. GLSEN who attempted to get five years old children to sign a card that they would stand up to people who bullied gays! (THEY’RE FIVE!!!! REALLY????) I get angry at how the Gay Elite wants to take away everyone’s freedom of choice. So I will continue to battle them. Because I think everyone should be free to make the choice for the lives but should have truth and accurate information regarding that choice. Sexuality is the most private and cherished thing we can give to another, so why do so in such a secretive, vulgar fashion by allowing unfettered access to all who want it instead of sharing it with one person who will treasure it?
Lastly I am anti-gay because it takes away the brightest and best among us and delves them into a counterfeit life and I think they are worth more than that.