Conservative / Liberals / Satire/Humor

My New Year’s Resolutions

I am not going to make the same boring new year’s resolutions everyone else makes that only get broken a week later. So here are mine.

1) I promise to be a thorn in the side of all those who are liberal, Democrats or just plain commies. I promise to do what I can to get one death threat from one important politician before this year is over. If I don’t that means I am not doing something Right!

2) I promise to at least try to choke down a vegetable within the course of the year. Quickly followed by some dark chocolate so I don’t automatically regurgitate it back up.

3) I resolve myself to going out on at least one date this year. My son keeps bugging me to get married and it is hard to get married if you don’t at least go out on a date with a guy.

4) Okay I signed up with a new health plan because they give you a free health club membership and a free gym bag, so I resolve to actually use the free services since it is close to my house and I don’t have to pony up any cash. Who knows maybe I could date one of the personal trainers. LOL (Yeah, like that is going to happen. Then again alot of personal trainers are gay and gay men LOVE me-so who knows? LOL) And by use the services, I don’t mean like on daily basis, but enough so I won’t feel guilty about not using it.

5)  I resolve to do more cooking, especially since I got a lot of great cookware for Christmas and everything won’t be stuck to my pan now.

Lastly, I resolve to keep writing this blog and letting my voice be heard.  Taking on the liberals and the traitor conservatives who just want to get along with the liberals because they are too much of a pansy to stand up for what they believe! Yep,  this is going to be the year of all who are BLACK N RIGHT!!!!

2 thoughts on “My New Year’s Resolutions

  1. I have only made one resolution in my life so far. On January 1, 1982 they passed a law where you could get a ticket or not wearing your seat belt. I decided that would be a true one that I could keep. It seems like other resolutions that have stuck were NOT made on 1/1.

    Number 5 is imperative for me to keep the weight off. You can prepare a meal that you love in a restaurant and make minor changes to make it more healthy. I do great with the weight when I cook at home more than I eat out.

    Same for 2. A minister felt like to do a fast like spoken in the book of Daniel where they ate nothing but vegetable. He was like you about them. Just would not eat them. He decided to do this for 40 days. The first time he asked his wife to fix him a broccoli casserole she said ‘Where is my husband?’ He has loved them ever since. I did this a few years ago. Basically I ate no meat, poultry or seafood for 40 days. I thought I would never make it. Those were the best 40 days of my life physically. I did not continue that lifestyle but I understood how people decided to be a vegan. I felt absolutely wonderful.

    I second number 3. You are a bit younger than I am so getting a date may be more of a challenge but I plan on it somehow. Most of the singles my age have had the trauma of bad marriages and tend to be gun shy. I am not of that number. However I am getting way more looks these days at 49 than I ever did in my 20s or 30s. Pretty interesting if you ask me.

  2. Hey Pamela, thanks for all your great input. I would like to lose weight but each time I tell myself, I am going to do it this year, I never do. So instead of setting myself up for failure. I will just cook more when I can (which like you helps me with my weight.) and I will at least try to hit the gym since now I don’t have the money excuse anymore. I figure if I only go once a week or once a month that is still better than the zero times last year I went.

    Yeah, the dating thing is always hard. But especially in my case because I would like to marry a Black man but I also want to marry a Mormon, you want to guess how many Black single Mormon men I have run into in the last five years I have been active? Well, let’s see there’s one…..yep, that’s it, just one. And try as I might, it is not happening between us. So it is either wait for number two to arrive or try to see if I can date one of the billion White men available. Of course, of that billion, three are single. And a half billion women want the three, odds are not good. Oh yes the joys of a being a single Mormon woman…..makes one feel like a leper. LOL

    But I am hopeful, if God via Moses can part the Red Sea, he can surely find the right man for me. Well that is if my son doesn’t first, he has taken to seeing that Mommy gets a date and soon. LOL Then again my son’s name does mean Lord, so one way or another the Lord is getting me a man. LOL

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